Sleight of Hand.....

Yes, it's been over a month since I have blogged. You know I'm rule breaker; break taker! So, my weight is about the same....yeah, yeah, blah, blah.

This week I have consumed myself with utter nonsense to take my mind off the fact that my "baby" is graduating preschool on Friday. I have been in denial even though I thought I didn't DO denial. I have succeeded in annoying 272 of my nearest and dearest friends with Spam. OK, so maybe they were actually some friends, some family, some aquaintances, some friends of friends, some home improvement people, some nursery school parents, some elementary school parents, some professional colleagues, some human resources people, some Avon Walk for Breast Cancer people, some theater tickets people, some weight loss website people, some people that I intentionally lost touch with, and one all-too-quick to respond ex-boyfriend. It was nice to know that the plumbing supply lady, the painter I never hired, and, of course, the ex-boyfriend were lured in my invitation to view photos. I can't blame them since I was suckered too, which is how the whole mess started. My apologies to all.

The silly situation actually put me into some state of panic. On the surface, I'm the outgoing, talkative, laugh when I'm a little nervous type. However, one false slip of the hand on my keyboard made me realize that I'm actually in hiding, in a way. I felt my pressure rise when I thought that all these people might have mistaken an online hoax for me attempting to reach out and resurface in their lives. I really flipped out a little bit. On some level I believe that catching up equals pain. There goes my "I'm too cool for social networking websites" cover. Oh well. Must be eating my way through my unresloved issues. Psycho-babble cliches in the movies have taught me that I may not be able to lose the weight until I unburden myself of the "weight of the world" on my shoulders. In this case, what am I hiding from? I'm not reinventing the wheel here but perhaps I will explore this some more. I also REALLY need to clean up my computer. Once again, I'm any psychologist's wet dream.

"Sleight of hand and twist of fate, on a bed of nails she makes me wait."
-U2